By grace we celebrated our 40th Anniversary at the Ateneo de Manila, a milestone among batchmates from Grade School and High School (dubbed, “Party Farty Forty”). It was a moment of rekindling of fond memories (normally, embarrassing or grotesque) typical of spontaneous, juvenile actions. Amusingly, we barely physically resemble our youth—much have grown sideways, faded their top covering or lost much of it, deepened their facial lines, and use accessories for enhancement or support (Sadly, many have gone ahead). Had it not been for name tags (and updated fb pictures), some batchmates would have been like total strangers (add the senior moments). The ties bring those ribbing peculiar to wild men that cause no offense, but laughter and good cheers.
As I was doing the rounds catching up with as much I could, one conversation stopped me. He remained single; teasingly I said, “How did you manage to do so?” His response, “I have yet to see a married couple for 15 years that is happy.” Expectations? Sad that we each, left to our own, have unrealistic expectations or biases. To expect that a spouse would complete us is more suited for the movies. I had to interject, “Wait! I have been married for 29 years” (Dec 3, 1990, to be precise).
Just like musicians have a tuning fork to guide them as they regularly tune their instruments, we also have the Written Word to define for us a marriage. At the very core, a Christian marriage is a picture of Christ and the church;1 thus, it is a covenant.2 This mysterious picture is used to encourage us (not to judge us whenever we fall short; our marriages are works in progress). And the covenant brings security and comfort to the relationship. Our hope and promise is that God provides the love,3 the peace,4 the joy,5 the favor.6 Due to the overflow we are able to do the small, daily tuning that transforms our marriages. It is the progressive, moment-by-moment, deliberate small acts that matter not the ideal future. In a covenant marriage, we can accept the whole gamut of emotions normal to humans, knowing that we are safe to be ourselves. In Christ Jesus, we have the assurance that there is now no condemnation.7
Notes:
1. Ephesians 5:32
2. Genesis 9:9
3. John 14:21
4. John 14:25-27
5. John 15:11
6. John 16:25-28
7. Romans 8:1
thanks for this George! very well written. the young couples you coach before their weddings and marriage should read this. God bless you abundantly!