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Helpful Parenting Principles

Clueless. There are many jobs that can be delegated, if not relegated. But there are two which is an exclusive domain—Husband and Father.

As a husband I am called to love my wife; and as a father, I am to protect, to nurture, and to educate my children. Ironically, our educational system is primarily geared towards skill development for the workplace. I did not receive a formal education on how to be a good husband nor be a good father.

So happenstance, I went about the task of parenting (let me leave the topic on marriage for another time). I acknowledge that each person has his/her TGIF mind sets. These are mindsets that mold our way of thinking, such as the following: Toxic thought patterns; Go-to-safe-place, where we zone-out whenever we perceive danger; Influences based on family background, birth order, financial status, education, culture; and Filters such as fears, traumas, biases, environ, friends, etc. We may be aware of it or not; it is like our code. Thus, we may respond or react uniquely to various situations. Sometimes, I hit it right; occasionally, not.

Would you agree that we need not start without knowing where we are headed? Personally, I am bent towards beginning with the end in sight. Blame my architectural background; I was trained to collaborate with the best and put my thoughts in blue prints. Fortunately, we can get help! We may know of reputable family members, friends, and colleagues who qualify as “good” fathers. Or read parenting books by established authors. The “how to” is unique to every family (shall not even dare to suggest specific remedies) but principles are applicable universally.

It always pays to read the manufacturer’s manual to maximize the use of any gadget. God has given us such manual as our plumb line, level, or standard. Thus, after stewarding the father title for 26 years, allow me to site some of the principles that have helped my wife and I parent our son and daughter.

The Promise. Behold, I am making a covenant. Before all your people I will do marvels, such as have not been created in all the earth or in any nation. And all the people among whom you are shall see the work of the LORD, for it is an awesome thing that I will do with you—[Exodus 34:10 ESV].

God not only states a promise, he also shows how to attain the promise.

How?  This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success—[Joshua 1:8 ESV].

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God will all your heart and will all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children (underscore mine), . . .—[For the entire text read Deuteronomy 6:4-9 ESV].

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate—[Psalm 127:3-5 ESV].

As I find it helpful to paint word pictures to serve as memory pegs, I came up with an acronym to segment the parenting process—CHILD.

Initially, I shall share a 5-series blog (and later add details to each topic). Parents, enjoy the journey! Seldom are people given the privilege and responsibility to shimmer a precious jewel.